Reading the Signs

Is She Interested or Just Playing It Cool?

If I had a Baht for every time I’ve said, pick the one that picks you, I’d own my own Soi in Nana by now. But let’s flip the script for a second, because sometimes, a woman might not throw out all the obvious choosing signals, yet she’s still interested.

This is one of those nuances that separates the guys who just visit Thailand from the ones who really understand how things work over here.

Why Some Women Play It Cool

Just because a woman isn’t giggling, hanging off your arm, or acting like she just found her long lost prince doesn’t mean she’s not into you. There are a lot of reasons she might keep it low key in the beginning:

• Saving face: She doesn’t want to look too eager, especially in front of friends or coworkers
• Shyness: Some women just aren’t into acting over the top
• Testing you: She wants to see if you’re the kind of guy who can read the room, or if you need neon signs flashing I LIKE YOU to figure things out
• Professional discretion: This happens a lot in GoGo bars and massage shops. Some ladies keep a poker face in public but bring the fireworks when she’s alone with you
• Cultural cues: Western guys are often used to direct signals, but in Thailand, subtlety and reading between the lines are key and a necessary skill

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If I had a Baht for every time I’ve said, pick the one that picks you, I’d own my own Soi in Nana

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Real Talk: Actions Speak Louder Than ‘Choosing Signals’

I was having lunch with a brother the other day, and he brought up a solid point: just because a woman doesn’t act infatuated right away doesn’t mean she won’t bring the heat when you’re alone.

A classic example of this is at Massage shops. Plenty of guys have walked into a place, picked a girl who seemed totally indifferent, until they got to the room. Then suddenly, it’s like flipping a switch. Same goes for GoGo bars and nightclubs. A woman might seem reserved at first, but once the deal is closed and you’re alone in private, that’s when you get the real her, the TIger inside.

I’ve seen this play out countless times, and sometimes the most laid back, low energy girls turn out to be the most engaged and exciting once they feel comfortable. The key is understanding the difference between reserved interest and straight up disinterest.

How to Tell the Difference

Now, this doesn’t mean you should start chasing uninterested women. There’s a difference between playing it cool and just not being into you. Here’s how to tell:

• If she’s sipping her drink slowly, acting coy, but still engaging: That’s a good sign!
• If she’s slamming drinks, barely talking, and eyeing the next guy with a fat wallet: That’s a drink queen and possibly a scam waiting to happen.
• If she agrees to spend time with you, whether it’s leaving the bar, hitting an after hours spot, or going for a walk, that’s her way of showing interest without putting on a show for everyone else!
• If she seems hesitant in public but becomes affectionate once it’s just the two of you, that’s another strong indicator you have a winner!
• If she initiates conversation, touches your arm, or even just keeps solid eye contact, she’s likely interested even if she’s not being overtly obvious about it.

Now, let’s flip this for a second, what about when she pretends to be interested but really isn’t?

• If she’s only lively when drinks are flowing but suddenly cold when the bottle’s empty, you already know what’s up.
• If she keeps steering the conversation back to money, gifts, or what you can do for her, she’s working, not dating.
• If she seems engaged but never commits to plans or “has an excuse” every time you suggest meeting outside the bar, it’s 100% transactional, not romantic.

Common Mistakes Guys Make

A lot of guys get burned because they ignore the red flags and only see what they want to see. Here are some of the most common missteps:

1. Forcing the connection: If she’s not giving any engagement, move on. Don’t try to convince her.
2. Confusing politeness with interest: Thai women, especially those in service industries, are often friendly by nature. That doesn’t mean they’re into you.
3. Falling for the drink trap: If all she cares about is another round, it’s not you she’s interested in, it’s what’s in your wallet, she sees you as an ATM.
4. Mistaking reserved for uninterested: Some genuinely interested women won’t throw themselves at you. It’s up to you to read the room, be a man, initiate and continue to lead the engagement with her. 

Bottom Line: Trust Your Instincts

At the end of the day, your choices determine your experiences. Some guys get burned because they mistake her forced enthusiasm for real interest, while others overlook a good opportunity because the woman wasn’t all over them from the jump.

When in doubt, watch her actions, don’t just listen to her words. If she wasn’t interested, she wouldn’t be there. And if she’s genuinely into you, trust me, you’ll know soon enough.

That’s all for today. Like, subscribe, and if you want to chop it up with guys who actually know the scene, the Private Telegram group is where it’s at.

It’s your boy JC, peace out